Intentionally helping each other follow Jesus
As I explained in a previous post, I have started “defining discipleship as helping each other follow Jesus.” There are several aspects to this definition (which I described briefly in that previous post), and I think that each of the aspects is extremely important. In fact, when we lose one of those aspects, then we are less effective at discipling one another, and we hinder the growth (maturity) of the church.
For example, I said that it’s important for us to “help each other follow Jesus even when he’s leading us in different directions.” Then, my readers (you) answered this question: “How has someone helped you follow Jesus?” Finally, I argued that when we follow Jesus we also “unintentionally help each other follow Jesus.”
However, when we talk about helping each other follow Jesus (that is, discipling one another), we’re primarily talking about those times when we intentionally help each follow Jesus. We’re typically not talking about unintentional discipleship.
But, is “intentional discipleship” even valid from the perspective of Scripture? Is it valid for us to plan ways to help others follow Jesus? Yes. It’s not only valid, but we’re instructed (commanded) to intentionally help each other follow Jesus.
For example, consider 1 Corinthians 12-14, the longest passage in Scripture on spiritual gifts. Among other things, we’re told that all followers of Jesus are gifted and that the gifts are given for our mutual benefit. We’re also told that when we gather with other believers, we should only exercise those gifts (even gifts from the Spirit of God) if it would edify other people (i.e., help other people grow in maturity in Jesus Christ).
But, where’s the intentional part? It’s in 1 Corinthians 14:26 – “What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.” (1 Corinthians 14:26 ESV) When they came together, they already had an idea of how they would seek to edify one another. Thus, there was some planning and consideration involved.
However, there is another passage that’s even more straightforward. In Hebrews 10:24-25, the author clearly indicates that we should take the time to both help each other follow Jesus but also to consider how to best disciple each other:
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV)
Like 1 Corinthians 12-14, this passage tells us that we get together in order to edify one another (although the author of Hebrews uses the related verb “encourage”). But, Hebrews 10:24 begins with the important exhortation: “Consider one another.” (Yes, the “one another” actually goes with the verb “consider.”) In order to “stir up love and good works” and in order to “encourage one another,” we must being by “considering one another.” This shows intentionality, planning, and personal response, realizing that we’re all at different places in our walk with Jesus, and we all need different kinds of help in following Jesus.
So, yes, we do unintentionally help each other follow Jesus when we are following him ourselves. But, we should also intentionally think about those brothers and sisters in Christ who are part of our lives in order to help them follow Jesus.
Of course, what we “consider” goes back to the first post in this series. We don’t “consider” how they can follow what Jesus is calling us to do. Instead, we “consider” how to help them both to understand what Jesus wants of them and also to follow wherever he’s leading them.
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Series: Discipleship as “helping each other follow Jesus”
Unintentionally helping each other follow Jesus
As I explained in a previous post, I have started “defining discipleship as helping each other follow Jesus.” There are several aspects to this definition (which I described briefly in that previous post), and I think that each of the aspects is extremely important. In fact, when we lose one of those aspects, then we are less effective at discipling one another, and we hinder the growth (maturity) of the church. For example, I said that it’s important for us to “help each other follow Jesus even when he’s leading us in different directions.” Then, my readers (you) answered this question: “How has someone helped you follow Jesus?”
I believe the most important way that we can help each other follow Jesus is by example. Now, please don’t misunderstand this. I don’t mean that we help people by going around trying to be an example. Instead, I mean that as we follow Jesus ourselves, our lives will be examples to those who know us and who observe our lives.
In this way, by following Jesus ourselves, we are also unintentionally helping each other follow Jesus.
In a comment on my previous post, I shared a story about how some friends of mine helped me follow Jesus. This happened while they were loving and serving some people in a nursing home. Their example of loving and serving the residents helped me to follow Jesus as well. But, they were not loving and serving them in order to be an example to me. They were caring for the nursing home residents because they were following Jesus themselves. Their following Jesus became an example to me and others, and their example unintentionally helped me follow Jesus.
So if we are sharing our lives with others and following Jesus at the same time, then our lives will be an example to others. Our lives will help others follow Jesus unintentionally.
Please note, this is completely different than “practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them.” (Matthew 6:1 ESV) If we are saying things or doing things in order to be noticed by others people, then we are not following Jesus.
However, if we are giving others access to our lives and following Jesus (whether others notice or not), then our lives will be an example to others and will help them follow Jesus. This is similar to what Jesus said earlier in Matthew’s Gospel: “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16 ESV)
Intentional discipleship (intentionally helping each other follow Jesus) is certainly important. I’ll talk about that in my next post.
But, don’t dismiss the importance of unintentional discipleship also. How do you unintentionally help others follow Jesus? By following Jesus yourself.
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Series: Discipleship as “helping each other follow Jesus”
How has someone helped you follow Jesus?
As I explained in a previous post, I have started “defining discipleship as helping each other follow Jesus.” There are several aspects to this definition (which I described briefly in that previous post), and I think that each of the aspects is extremely important. In fact, when we lose one of those aspects, then we are less effective at discipling one another, and we hinder the growth (maturity) of the church. For example, I said that it’s important for us to “help each other follow Jesus even when he’s leading us in different directions.”
But, what has this looked like in your life? Specifically, how has someone else helped you to follow Jesus?
As you can tell, this is a very short post. Instead of filling this page with my words, I’m hoping that you’ll fill the page with examples. Examples are so important, but they are often in short supply among the church today.
So, please share an example with my readers of how someone else has helped you follow Jesus.
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Series: Discipleship as “helping each other follow Jesus”
Helping each other follow Jesus… in different directions?
As I explained in a previous post, I have started “defining discipleship as helping each other follow Jesus.” There are several aspects to this definition (which I described briefly in that previous post), and I think that each of the aspects is extremely important. In fact, when we lose one of those aspects, then we are less effective at discipling one another, and we hinder the growth (maturity) of the church.
Among the majority of the church today, “discipleship” is primarily attempted through one person speaking to a large number of people. This can be in the form of a preacher or teacher. Even in many “small groups,” a teacher is responsible for speaking the to the others in the group.
But, there’s an inherent problem in this method: it’s impossible to help each other follow Jesus in this way when Jesus is leading us in different directions.
Yes, it’s true that there are many general commonalities for all followers of Jesus. But, remember that following Jesus is a way of life. While there are many common traits to that way of life, there are also differences in the way we live it out.
For example, we are all called to “love our neighbors.” That’s true. And, we can teach a large number of people at one time that Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But, my neighbor is not your neighbor is not her neighbor is not his neighbor. We are different; our neighbors are different; our strengths and weaknesses are different; our neighbors’ needs and situations are different. We cannot help each other follow Jesus by one person telling the rest of us how to love our neighbors.
Consider this example also: We are all called to “go.” But, where does Jesus want us to go to? Does he want us to go across the street? Does he want us to go across the city to a different neighborhood? Does he want us to go across the state? Does he want ut to go to a different part of the country? Does he want us to travel to the other side of the world? We cannot help each other follow Jesus to where he wants us to go by one person speaking to everyone else.
So, in order to help each other follow Jesus, we must be willing both to speak to each other but also to listen to each other. We must be part of a group that small enough that we can get to know each other and truly encourage one another specifically to follow what Jesus is leading each of us in.
And, this is extremely difficult, even one on one. It’s easy for me to help you follow what Jesus is telling ME. But, that’s not discipleship. Instead, discipleship is helping you follow what Jesus is telling YOU. That’s a huge difference. If you love your neighbor in exactly the same way that I love my neighbor, then you may not actually be loving your neighbor. If you “go” the way that Jesus has told me to go, then you may not be following Jesus where he wants you to go.
So, yes, let’s help each other understand what Jesus tells his followers in common and in general. But, we also need to help each other follow Jesus even when he calls us in different directions.
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Series: Discipleship as “helping each other follow Jesus”
Defining discipleship as helping each other follow Jesus
According to Matthew, just before Jesus ascended into heaven, he gave his followers this last instruction: And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20 ESV)
The command in this passage is translated “make disciples.” It is precipitated by Jesus’ authority. It includes the aspects of go[ing], baptizing, and teaching. And it is wrapped up in the promise that Jesus will always be with us.
My “go to” definition of making disciples (or discipleship) is this: “Helping each other follow Jesus.”
This definition includes several parts:
“Helping” reminds us that the real work is done by God. He often chooses to use his children (that would be us), but the work is still his. However, there is a role for us to play.
“Each other” reminds us that this is mutual (reciprocal) work. There are no pure discipler->disciple relationship among humans. Instead, we’re all in need of being helped to follow Jesus, and, at the same time, we can all help others to follow Jesus.
“Follow” reminds us that being a disciple is not a passive adventure or a mental exercise. Instead, it is a way of life. (In fact, the first name for “Christianity” was “the Way.”)
“Jesus” reminds us that we do not want people to follow us. We want people to follow Jesus.
Finally, the entire phrase reminds us that there will be some aspects of following Jesus that will be the same (or similar) between different believers. But, at the same time, there will be some aspects of following Jesus that will be different between different believers.
For the next few days, I’ll be publishing posts about “helping each other follow Jesus.” But, for now, I’d have a question for you:
What do you think of my definition “helping each other follow Jesus”? What would you add, change, or remove from this definition?
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Series: Discipleship as “helping each other follow Jesus”
Replay: Donkeys sleeping in the bathtub
Four years ago, I published a post called “Donkeys sleeping in the bathtub.” The post was inspired a commercial that was airing around the time that I wrote the post. The commercial was about crazy laws that were on the books in certain states. It made me think about how there are certain traditions among the church, and how those traditions started, and how those traditions just seem to hang around… whether they are helpful or not.
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Donkeys sleeping in the bathtub
According to a commercial on the radio, there is a law in Arizona that makes it illegal to allow a donkey to sleep in your bathtub.
Also, apparently, in Minnesota, there is a law that makes it illegal to cross the Minnesota state line with a duck on your head.
While these laws seem funny and even ridiculous to us, there was probably a good reason for passing the laws in the first place. If we traced the history of these laws, we would probably understand why the laws are on the book. However, while the history may clear things up for us, history will not make the laws make sense today.
Why? Well, most people don’t own donkeys today, much less allow them to sleep in their bathtubs. And, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with a duck on their head.
But, of course, once a law is on the books, it is difficult to remove it.
The same thing happens with our traditions and practices and rules in the church. For very good reasons, the church begins doing things and begins doing them in certain ways. Eventually, the reasons disappear, but the practices continue.
Eventually, if we’re not careful, those practices become more important to us than who we are as the family of God in Christ. The way we do things becomes more important than the reason we started doing them in the first place. We become defined by our methods instead of being defined by our relationship with God and with one another.
I think we see this today in many aspects of our lives together as the church. We don’t know why we do the things we do or why we act the way we act or why we’re structured the way we’re structured, but someone must have had a good reason to start doing it this way, and we’re familiar and comfortable with these things, so we just let them continue.
But, the silly laws I mentioned at the beginning of this post – laws against donkeys sleeping in bathtubs and wearing a duck on your head – generally don’t affect people today. For many people, their lives will not be changed if the laws remain or are repealed.
But, it is completely different for the church. The things that we do day after day, week after week, year after year, simply because that’s the ways it’s been done, or the ways we’ve been taught, or the ways that have worked before, or even the ways that seem rational and logical… these things affect us as followers of Jesus Christ. They affect our relationship with God and our relationships with one another.
The things that we do or don’t do, the way that we’re structured or not structured, the way that we speak or don’t speak, all of these things work to either build us up toward maturity in Christ, or they hinder our development in Christ.
Laws against donkeys sleeping in the bathtub seem funny and ridiculous to us. But, I wonder if the way we treat one another as the church, the way we set up hierarchies among believers, the way we abandon our responsibilities toward one another and pay others to carry out our responsibilities… I wonder if these things seem funny to God.
Disconnected Church Connections – Of the Lack of Relationships Among the Church
In a previous post, I explained that I was starting a new series on the topic of “disconnected connections.” (See my post “Disconnected Church Connections – Introduction.”) I’ve already discussed the “disconnected connections” that we make by reading books, articles, essays, and, yes, even blog posts, the “disconnected connections” that we make online, and the “disconnected connections” we have with various types of speakers. (See my posts “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Authors and Similar Personalities,” “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Online Friends and Followers,” and “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Speakers at Seminars, Conferences, and More” respectively.)
What do I mean by “disconnected connections”? We can often feel “connected” to other Christians without face-to-face interactions. We often feel like we “know” people who we have never met. (As I explained in the introduction, I am not condemning disconnected connections. Instead, I’m cautioning that these types of relationships should be supplemental (and secondary) to real life, face-to-face interactions.
In this conclusion to my series on “disconnected connections,” I’d like us to think about one question: Why are people drawn to “disconnected connections” among the church? So far, I’ve talked about various types of relationships that are often seen as very important among the church, and yet these relationships do not provide the face-to-face, intimate connections and interactions that we need for growth and maturity in Jesus Christ.
I think the answer is quite simple: Among the church today, those kinds of real, face-to-face, intimate relationships are extremely rare or, in some cases, nonexistent.
For too long, the church has emphasized activities and programs that hinder those kinds of relationships. Yes, Christians have always SAID that relationship was important. But, when the rubber hits the road, relationships were put on a back burner, at best. The church focused on information, organization, and attendance. Through all of these, Christians learned that relationships were not really important.
In past generations, community and relationship developed naturally, primarily because people tended to stay in one location their whole life. However, when that change, community and relationship became less natural. So, it was easy for Christians to set aside important relationships just as others in our culture were doing.
Instead of the important face-to-face interactions that God uses to help us grow and mature in Christ (expressed beautifully in Scripture through the many “one another” instructions), the church turned to “disconnected connections” and encouraged others (intentionally or unintentionally) to turn to “disconnected connections” as well.
What’s the answer? We cannot continue to emphasize the “disconnected connections” and expect people to build intimate relationships as well. Instead, we must emphasize those real, live, face-to-face kind of interactions that actually help people grow and mature in Jesus Christ. Instead of giving special time to “disconnected connections,” we must set those aside and give that time to building relationships – showing that these interactions (“one anothers”) are truly important to us and no longer only giving “lip service” to the importance of relationships.
Finally, we must model these kinds of discipling relationships, being willing to invite people into our lives, being willing to listen and learn from them, being willing to wait for God to work through the often slow and messy process of community.
Our relationships with one another in Jesus Christ are extremely important, and we must be willing to show people that they are important.
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Series on “Disconnected Church Connections”
Disconnected Church Connections – Of Speakers at Seminars, Conferences, and More
In a previous post, I explained that I was starting a new series on the topic of “disconnected connections.” (See my post “Disconnected Church Connections – Introduction.”) I’ve already discussed the “disconnected connections” that we make by reading books, articles, essays, and, yes, even blog posts and the “disconnected connections” that make online. (See my posts “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Authors and Similar Personalities” and “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Online Friends and Followers” respectively.)
What do I mean by “disconnected connections”? We can often feel “connected” to other Christians without face-to-face interactions. We often feel like we “know” people who we have never met. (As I explained in the introduction, I am not condemning disconnected connections. Instead, I’m cautioning that these types of relationships should be supplemental (and secondary) to real life, face-to-face interactions.
There’s another common source of “disconnected connections” among the church: speakers. Conference speakers. Seminar speakers. TV and radio personalities. People attend a conference or listen to a radio or TV broadcast – perhaps several times – and begin to think that they know the speaker. They don’t. They can’t. The speakers can provide information, but that’s all. And, as I’ve stated before, information is not the basis of growth and maturity in Jesus Christ.
Many people would agree with what I just said, and would caution against the overemphasis on conference, seminar, radio, and TV personalities. But, there’s another group of speakers who we need to think about as well.
Preachers.
Now, don’t misunderstand me… there are some preachers among traditional churches who share their lives with other people regularly – day in and day out. But, I think these are few and far between – not necessarily because of the preachers themselves, but because of the nature of the system they are part of. (I’m using the term “preacher” to refer to a person who speaks regularly – usually weekly at least – to a church audience.)
A few years ago, a young man who became a very close friend of mine explained his own experience with this. He had been part of a very popular church organization in our area. This church is known for some very good things, including their preacher. One day, my friend told me, this preacher was talking about loving others. He realized that he had no idea what the preacher meant by “love one another,” because he had never seen the preacher living it out. There was no “teaching through life” to accompany the “teaching by words.” (By the way, I’m sure this preacher shares his life with others, but he cannot share his life with everyone he speaks to every week.)
So, among the church, we often have “disconnected connections” with preachers, pastors, elders, whatever we call them. Then, we look to them as our primary leaders and teachers among the church. This is a problem. This is not the way that God works among the church. Instead, he works through the real life, face-to-face interactions between his children.
Of all of these “disconnected connections,” the shallow (sometimes nonexistent) relationship that we have with people who claim to be our leaders (and we accept their claim all too easily) is perhaps the most harmful to the health of the church.
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Series on “Disconnected Church Connections”
Disconnected Church Connections – Of Online Friends and Followers
In a previous post, I explained that I was starting a new series on the topic of “disconnected connections.” (See my post “Disconnected Church Connections – Introduction.”) I’ve already discussed the “disconnected connections” that we make by reading books, articles, essays, and, yes, even blog posts. (See my post “Disconnected Church Connections – Of Authors and Similar Personalities.”)
What do I mean by “disconnected connections”? We can often feel “connected” to other Christians without face-to-face interactions. We often feel like we “know” people who we have never met. (As I explained in the introduction, I am not condemning disconnected connections. Instead, I’m cautioning that these types of relationships should be supplemental (and secondary) to real life, face-to-face interactions.
In today’s cyber world, we are “interconnected” with people all over the world. We have Facebook friends, LinkedIn connections, and Twitter followers. After we read someone’s updates, statuses, and tweets day-after-day, week-after-week, month-after-month, and even year-after-year, it can seem that we actually know each other.
And, remember, I’m not condemning these kinds of online relationships. As you can tell from the links above, I participate in online relationships, and I’ve benefited greatly from them.
However, as is the case with authors, online relationships should be secondary to our face-to-face, real life relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s primarily through these face-to-face relationships – not pixel-to-pixel relationships – that God works in our lives to help us grow in maturity in Jesus Christ.
Of course, like I said above, there are many benefits to our cyber connections – especially when it comes to understanding other Christians who are different from us and when it comes to seeing how God is working around the world. Often, these online relationships can even become face-to-face, real life relationships.
Four years ago, when I first joined the titterverse, I met a fellow tweeter named Art. A few weeks after that, we met face-to-face for the first time. Since then, we have coffee or lunch together a few times. Today, we work together, and see each other almost daily.
I’ve met other people online who I’ve also later had the pleasure of meeting face-to-face once, twice, or a few times. As great as online relationships may be, the interaction becomes even better and more discipline the more we spend time together in real life.
The best online interactions – in my opinion – are with those people who I already know in real life. In this way, cyber connections become an extension of our real life relationships instead of a replacement for real life relationships. (I think this is very similar to what we see in Scripture concerning letters. They were almost always written to people who the author already knew. Even when the author had never met the recipients, the letters were sent with someone who would then give that face-to-face interaction that is so important.)
So, yes, maintain and build those online disconnected connections. But, don’t allow those cyber interactions to take the place of real life, face-to-face interactions. It is through the latter kinds of relationships that we truly come to know one another and that we help one another grow and mature in Jesus Christ.
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Series on “Disconnected Church Connections”
Disconnected Church Connections – Of Authors and Similar Personalities
In a previous post, I explained that I was starting a new series on the topic of “disconnected connections.” (See my post “Disconnected Church Connections – Introduction.”)
What do I mean by “disconnected connections”? We can often feel “connected” to other Christians without face-to-face interactions. We often feel like we “know” people who we have never met. (As I explained in the introduction, I am not condemning disconnected connections. Instead, I’m cautioning that these types of relationships should be supplemental (and secondary) to real life, face-to-face interactions.
Of course, the existence “disconnected connections” is not a modern phenomenon. But, as we’ll see later, in recent years these long-distance, non-face-to-face relationships have become take primary place among many Christians when it comes to fellowship, disciples, and unity.
For example, it’s easy to feel a connection to an author, especially when reading several books by the same author. We begin to think that we actually know the person, while – in reality – we don’t. We only know the part of the person that is published – and, usually, it’s a highly edited and highly planned portion of that person.
That same kind of “disconnected connection” can be found in magazine articles and blogs… yes, blogs such as this one. Very few of my readers actually know me. And, while I try to be “real” on my blog, it’s impossible for anyone to truly know me by only reading my blog. (Of course, for those who actually know me, reading my blog can help them know me even more.)
While we can learn something from authors, books, articles, essays, and even blog posts (such as this one), this is not the kind of learning that we need (primarily) to grow in Christ. We (I and other authors) are sharing information. Even when we share examples, they are only information. You are not observing the example. You are not learning from the example. You are learning from our words… it’s a transfer of knowledge.
Can a transfer of knowledge be helpful? Of course it can. But, it is not the primary method that God uses to help us help one another grow and mature in Jesus Christ. Sharing information can be PART of that growth, but it must only be part. Example, observation, and sharing life are the most important (and often more missing) part of maturing together in Jesus Christ.
So, should we stop writing and reading? Of course not. Like I said, I’m not condemning these “disconnected connections.” But, it will be helpful to recognize that this is what we have. We have a disconnected connection. And, until we spend time with one another – or until we spend time with our favorite author(s) – that is all we will have.
The danger is seeing an author as our primary discipler. And, unfortunately, I’ve heard this too many time: “So-and-so has discipled me more through his/her books than anyone else.” This is a dangerous situation. If you find it true in your life, then I would highly caution you to recognize that this is not the way that God has designed us to help one another grow in Jesus Christ.
So, what do we do if this is the case? Look for people to share our lives with… and even share the books with… then we can interact face-to-face over the same subjects and help one another grow in Christ through real life connections.
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Series on “Disconnected Church Connections”
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About Me
I am a follower of Jesus, PhD student in biblical theology, and an IT manager. My interests include running, coffee, and ecclesiology. My dissertation topic is the purpose of the gathering of the church in the New Testament. By God's grace, I try to live what I am learning about the church. Read more...