the weblog of Alan Knox

Community and Trials (addendum)

Posted by on Dec 1, 2010 in community | 7 comments

Community and Trials (addendum)

I’ve been thinking about my previous post “Community and Trials.” My friend Dan was honest enough to admit that when he and his wife were going through some difficult circumstances, he did not want people around him. Instead, he said that he wanted to shut out everyone except his immediate family.

It is difficult to welcome people into our lives when things are messy or painful. I’m not exactly sure why this is. But, I’ve experienced it in my own life (from the inside and the outside).

How about you? Have you ever been through a time in your life when you did not want to let other people know what was going on, or you did not want other people to help? Did anyone break through your barriers? Was that helpful or not?

Have you ever been in a difficult time in your life in which you wanted people to come into your life? Did they? Were they loving and accepting or condemning?


Comments are closed. If you would like to discuss this post, send an email to alan [at] alanknox [dot] net.

  1. 12-1-2010

    Personally I relate with Dan; I tend to run to my immediate family.

  2. 12-2-2010

    I am experiencing that right now with a family member who I know needs help and is not willing to accept it from me. This person is an unbeliever and speaks against how I can’t seem to help without sharing something about Jesus and what he has done for me as a reason why I’m willing to help. Lately it has been easier to help perfect strangers in need than those who should be closest to me. I’m not sure if I should press harder or back off. I’m interested in reading any answers that result from your questions.

  3. 12-2-2010


    I can relate to Dan also.


    Interesting. Do you think you would respond to a believer differently? (BTW… I wish I had a suggestion for you.)


  4. 12-2-2010


    “Have you ever been in a difficult time in your life in which you wanted people to come into your life?” Yes!

    “Did they?” No!

    “Were they loving and accepting or condemning?” Judge for yourself.

    It has been a long time since a large number of denomination brethren whom I loved and considered as close, and who affirmed that they considered me in the same way, some of whom I had been blessed to help through their own struggles. A false accusation was made against myself. The thick cloud of dust from their running feet took years to settle.

    Sadly, they repeated the exercise when a brother pastor in a distant church had similar false accusations made, the stress of which caused him to take his life. Interestingly, he was the only one who stood by me.

  5. 12-2-2010

    Aussie John,

    I’m sorry that you had to go through that (almost) alone. I thank God for the brother who stood with you.


  6. 12-2-2010

    Alan, I’m not sure how to repond either way. I don’t think it makes a difference in how I respond. Of course that sounds good here…in life my mind and heart seems to make me into a liar. It’s tough when you want to help those who need help and your help is unwanted.

  7. 12-3-2010


    Thank you for your thoughtfulness, but God used that experience to bring us into the most precious time of our life, 10 years, as an elder amongst God’s people. I needed a good kick in the pants to cause me to follow my convictions. We were blessed beyond any expectation.