Are you familiar with Paul’s short letter to Philemon? Apparently, Onesimus was one of Philemon’s slaves. Onesimus ran away (an offense punishable by death), and perhaps also stole something valuable from Philemon.
While running away from his master, Onesimus ran into Paul. Through is encounter with Paul, Onesimus also “ran into” Jesus Christ and was converted. For some time, Onesimus worked with Paul sharing the good news of Jesus Christ wherever they went and strengthen the churches that they passed by.
At some point, Paul found out that Onesimus was a slave who had run away from Philemon. Paul knew Philemon and some of the other brothers and sisters in Collosae. Paul told Onesimus that he had to return to Philemon in order to seek his forgiveness. Paul wrote a letter to Philemon which Onesimus was supposed to deliver. This was a very personal and intimate letter dealing with a possibly serious situation.
Can you imagine that conflict that might have occurred between Philemon and Onesimus? Yes, Philemon was a Christian, and, yes, Onesimus was now a Christian. But, we know that Christians do not always act Christ-like.
But, Paul included help for both Philemon and Onesimus his letter. Read the opening of Paul’s letter to Philemon:
Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: (Philemon 1:1-2 ESV)
Did you catch that? Paul did not address this very intimate and personal letter ONLY to Philemon. He also included Apphia, Archippus, and the entire church with which they met. Paul did not intend for Philemon and Onesimus to “work this out” on their own. Why? Because relationships between believers is very, very important. And, these relationships are not only important to the people involved, but to the entire church.
We make a mistake when we keep relationship problems – even serious relationship problems – to ourselves. We mistakenly think that we can prevent further problems by not getting other people involved. On the contrary, Paul sets the example for us – the church should be involved in relationship problems, because relationship problems affect the entire church. (See also Philippians 4:2-3 where Paul talks about another relationship problem to the entire church.)
Its time to stop hiding our relational conflict and problems and start allowing God to work through his church to reconcile those problems. (By the way, this assumes that we already have REAL relationships among the people that are part of the church.)